


Queen of Peace

by WaterlilyRose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Child Neglect, F/M, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Hurt/Comfort, Parent-Child Relationship, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 07:27:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18331406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaterlilyRose/pseuds/WaterlilyRose
Summary: Ben Solo and Leia Organa have settled into a civil if rather tense parent/child relationship. Some things Ben wants to confront her about but his past actions makes it feel impossible.But he won't let it happen again - not when it's his daughter involved this time.





	Queen of Peace

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by listening to Florence and the Machine 'Queen of Peace'

Ben sat at the window of his home and looked up at the sky. Mommy said she’d be here to tuck him into bed. So where was she?

 

“Master Ben, it is well past your bedtime.” The worried voice of C3-PO was like a sabre sword through glass.

 

“Mommy said she was coming!”

 

“Master Ben, I’m sure your mother wished to tuck you in but her job keeps her very busy.”

 

“But she promised!” Tears were welling up in his eyes. Why could they see that if his Daddy couldn’t be here (whose hugs made the worst nightmares stay away) then his Mommy would have to.

 

He didn’t want to dream about that bad man again. He didn’t want to go to sleep if that was what was going to happen.

 

“Master Ben, your mother has sent her apologises-”

 

“I want my Mommy!” Ben knew C3-PO meant well but a kitchen droid had nearly killed him once. Why was his Mommy letting another droid look after him?

 

C3-PO couldn’t make him move so Ben slept by the window that night.

 

The bad man came to his dreams.

 

The bad man always came…

* * *

 

 

_25 years later_

 

 

For all intents and purposes, life as a prisoner wasn’t really that bad.

 

In fact, Ben was fairly confident that prisoner was a bit strong for his condition. Rey and himself were situated in an apartment in Coruscant. It was a luxurious residence that was not dissimilar to the one where his grandparents had cohabited secretly as husband and wife so many years ago. It also allowed guards to be situated around the place and Rey had to comm for approval before the speeder was allowed for their use.

 

Ben and Rey knew that they could hoodwink the security and escape if they really wanted to but… well, neither of them wanted to. Ben didn’t want to spend his life on the run any longer – he wanted a home.

 

If the Resistance had to check his mail and limit his movements as a result then so be it.

 

Rey’s ardent defence of him had not made her many friends. The traitor and his new squeeze Rose seemed utterly baffled and stunned at her love for him but that was no more than Ben himself felt. And Dameron was practically poisonous.

 

The pilot and Rey had never been able to forge the friendship that Rey had carved with the traitor once Dameron had discovered that the brightest hope for the Resistance and the Supreme Leader had possessed the audacity to fall in love with one another. Dameron would drop by unexpectedly many a time to check on Ben’s movements with the clear hope of catching his nemesis in some activity that would get Ben locked up in chains on an abandoned planet.

 

The last time that Dameron had pulled that stunt had been twelve years ago – when Ben and Rey had been rather busy e.g. fucking each other within an inch of their lives.

 

Ben thought his day couldn’t get any better than when he came into the sitting area to meet Dameron in a towel and little else but no: Rey had followed him out of the bedroom, clad in his tunic that looked like a dress on her petite frame and a face like thunder.

 

“Enough! I know what you’re doing Poe or what you are trying to do but I’ve had it! We deserve some privacy and if you don’t start using that comms unit then I will be reporting you to the Senate myself!”

 

Ben didn’t know what was better – Rey’s clearly well-fucked but furious demeanour or Dameron’s mingled fury and embarrassment. Nothing could state it clearer – Rey was Ben’s and this was the proof.

 

It had been two days before he’d let her put on her own clothes.

 

The ceremony of their wedding was almost pathetically small. It had been held at their Coruscant apartment (Ben couldn’t get leave to travel outside the city just yet) and had been followed with a small dinner with only their droids, the traitor and the technician in attendance. And his mother.

 

Leia Organa was still grasping her cane to help her balance but looked as poised and regal as she had been on the bridge of that ship (the one he had chosen not to blow up – the fact that the First Order had taken it upon themselves to aim and fire was an unfortunate happen-stance.)

 

But it had only been Rey and Ben at their best moment – Rey had been on the balcony reading the papers while Ben had been in the kitchen preparing himself a cup of caf when he felt it.

 

A tremor. Or a thrumming sound. Something… but… it was calling to him and Rey.

 

_Mama? Papa?_

 

Ben had dropped his cup onto the tiled floor causing it to smash and the hot contents to spill everywhere. It didn’t even register: he had to get to his wife. And his child.

 

Ben had wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible. What if there were still people out there that wanted revenge? What if Rey and the child would become the next targets. But Rey wouldn’t hide.

 

“This is my baby and I’m proud you're the father.” Rey proclaimed as she stroked her bump (on her little frame, five months was beginning to look rather large around the midriff area). “Plus I’m a dab hand at lightsaber techniques. And I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt her with my bare hands.”

 

Her. Their little girl.

 

Breha Solo was born at the Coruscant Hospital at two minutes past 3 in the morning after a far longer labour than Ben or Rey would have liked. Yet when the medi-droid handed Rey the angry and slightly bloody baby, something inside Ben finally began to heal. This baby was a part of him (poor thing) and somehow all the pain that had been dealt him, all the manipulation and heartache just didn’t seem as important anymore. Just so long as she didn’t experience it.

 

Life as parents wasn’t easy of course. Ben began to realise that five minutes of sleep could be the most precious thing in the world when you were so tired that standing underneath the fresher spray seemed a herculean challenge. Or that colic was the enemy of babies and parents alike. Or that it could be absolutely exhausting to watch another one of those garish cartoons on the holonet for the fiftieth time because it was the only thing Breha liked to watch.

 

But there were upsides of course; like the days when Breha wanted to cuddle him and giggle for no reason. Or when she took her first steps across the carpet because she wanted her stuffed Porg doll while being completely oblivious to the fact her parents were practically jumping up and down. Or even (and Ben wasn’t exactly proud of this) when Breha would fall over and hurt herself and the only thing that would stop her cries of shock was if her Daddy picked her up and smacked the floor for ‘hurting Breha’.

 

Yes being a father was exhausting and ludicrous at times but Force… he’d never been so happy.

 

Leia sometimes dropped by the apartment to visit. His restrictions were nowhere near as severe now after the Senate had come to the conclusion that his wife and daughter was a better monitor on his behaviour than they could ever be. But Leia’s visits tended to put his nerves through the mill.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like seeing his mother. She could be generally interesting company and seemed to be approving of his new life with Rey and Breha. But there was still that reserve between them. Still that barrier of things not said.

 

Things that Ben wanted to say but felt he couldn’t.

 

He still had questions for her. Mainly… why wasn’t he enough? Why was everything so much more important than him? It was selfish of him to still want to ask even now but even her visits to his flat were sporadic at best. And while he was sure that she loved her granddaughter, Ben still wasn’t sure that Leia knew what to do with Breha. She seemed to think that the very thing was to pat her head and give her treats.

 

Lovely but not very effective. Especially when Breha had a sugar rush an hour after her bedtime.

 

In an odd way, Ben felt like the outsider when Leia came to visit. She would chat warmly with Rey and make a fuss of Breha but Ben found himself staying in the kitchenette area or hiding in the bathroom until Rey would call him to come join them.

 

Yet Ben’s previous actions and the death of his fa… well, maybe some things were best left alone. It wasn’t bad per say. And from his actions, he had proven her right hadn’t he? He had potential to go truly dark and he’d done it. Even if a small voice still pointed out that Leia had been quite accepting of the fact he’d screwed up. Almost like she’d been expecting it.

 

That didn’t matter, he’d tell himself firmly. He had a wife and a child now.

 

Maybe he could live with it after all.

 

* * *

 

Breha was growing up too fast. He normally grumbled this to Rey and she would roll her eyes before telling him to get with the times.

 

Now Rey was beginning to look a bit sad. Breha had just turned nine year old. Ben wondered if maybe she was feeling the loss of having a young baby – maybe they should try having more than one. Maybe he could raise the issue around their anniversary – she might be in a good mood.

 

Or horny. One or the other.

 

Breha was now beginning to look forward to her grandmother’s visits a little more. Ben normally stayed in the background to allow his daughter to have the full benefit of Leia Organa’s presence. Leia normally came about once a month for dinner on a Sunday.

 

Ben generally kept his head down and ate his food quietly when his mother began to discuss politics with Rey, who still kept up-to-date with the goings on of the Jedi Council.

 

It was during one of these meals that Ben had heard something he’d dreaded a little.

 

“You’re getting big now, Breha. You’ll need Jedi robes for your studies soon. I know you’re not going to the Acadamy,” Ben felt Leia’s eyes flick to him in clear disapproval at Rey and himself deciding to get Breha home schooled by Jedis who are associated with the Grey Order, “but your teachers will want you looking smart.”

 

“Rey is taking her for new robes on Tuesday.” Ben played with his mushrooms in sauce and finding them rather interesting.

 

“There are some good shops in Coruscant.” Rey confirmed.

 

“Why don’t you just come with me? We won’t have to wait if I’m there – perks of being a Senator.”

 

“Oh yes please, Nana!” Breha agreed.

 

Ben found that the food suddenly turned to ash in his mouth.

 

“Ben? Are you okay?” Rey touched his hand and looked concerned – she’d felt his panic through the Force.

 

“Fine. Just a bit of a headache. Too much wine.” Ben excused himself to get a glass of water and hid in the kitchen for a long time.

 

That night as he got into bed, Rey put her data-pad to the side and turned to face him. “Ben? What’s wrong? You still seem a bit on edge.”

 

Ben looked at his wife and contemplated lying. It was pointless.

 

“What if she doesn’t come?” He whispered.

 

“Leia? But… she promised she would. Breha will be waiting.”

 

“I know.” Ben said lowly. Memories of waiting with C3-PO came flooding to the front of his head. The same thing couldn’t happen twice… could it?

 

“Ben, give her a chance. We have all made mistakes – and we got second chances. _You’ve_ changed for the better.”

“In all fairness I couldn’t get much worse.”

 

Rey swatted his arm playfully and snuggled up to him. “You were always good. You just needed encouragement.”

 

Ben kissed the top of Rey’s head and was soon pulling her onto his lap.

 

One of the pitfalls of parenthood was no more loud sex. Still as Rey and Ben silently divested each other of their sleepwear, Ben pulling the string cami top over Rey’s head to reveal her beautiful cupcake breasts with raspberry pink nipples, he found he didn’t care. Kissing her freckled neck and enjoying her quiet sighs, Ben allowed himself to lose himself in her beautiful bright Jedi wife.

 

As he slid into her waiting mound, Ben raised himself up on his arms to enjoy the view of Rey whimpering in pleasure and let his worries to be driven to the back of his mind.

 

Nothing felt wrong when he shared his body with his little scavenger. And if Leia did keep her promise, maybe they could indulge in loud sex after all.

 

* * *

 

Breha was up and dressed on Tuesday morning by the time the sun was up. She wolfed down her breakfast and dressed nicely. Ben tried to drink his caf as he watched his daughter brush her hair but found his hands were unsteady. He focused instead on blocking his thoughts from travelling to Rey or Breha.

 

Breha was ready and waiting by nine. She waited by the window. Leia said she’d be here by half past.

 

Half past came and went. So did ten o’clock.

 

Breha kept jumping up whenever a speeder came near their window and Ben couldn’t even glance at the look of disappointment when it passed without slowing.

 

“Where is Nana?” Breha asked Rey.

 

“Something must have made her late. Don’t worry sweetheart.”

 

By eleven, Breha wasn’t even jumping up anymore. She was sat on the sofa, looking miserable.

 

Rey was about to offer empty words of comfort when Ben came out of the bedroom he’d just gone into.

 

“Breha. I’ve just had a comm from Nana.” Breha turned around wide-eyed. “Sweetheart, she’s had a bit of a fall. You know she has to use a cane? Well, C3-PO left something on the ground and she tripped. She’s fine but the medi-droid has told her to rest.”

 

“Oh no!” Breha looked worried. “Poor Nana.”

 

“So that explains why she’s late. She’s really sorry. But me and Mummy still have the day off so go and get your savings and we’ll have a day out.”

 

Breha nodded and ran to her room. Rey sighed with relief.

 

“Well, that explains a lot. I’ll have to comm Leia to make sure-”

 

“Don’t bother.” Ben’s voice was clipped and anger exuded from him.

 

“Sorry?” Rey looked confused.

 

Ben fished into his pocket and pulled something out. It was the wires to the comm unit. He’d ripped them out of the wall. Rey looked at them in confusion and then up at him.

 

“There was no comm call.” Ben said darkly. “She’s done it again.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was eight o’clock at night before they actually did get a comm from Leia. It was just a message and as soon as Ben heard the words ‘Resistance meeting’ he turned the message off. He didn’t need to hear any more.

 

* * *

 

 

Leia left a message as usual before her usual dinner call. Rey didn’t prepare dinner and sent Breha off to spend the night with Finn, Rose and their children.

 

When Leia stepped into the apartment, she was greeted with a silent and seething Ben.

 

“I’ll be in the bedroom, Sweetheart.” Rey turned and walked into their room, closing the door behind her. She didn’t greet Leia. She had no excuses this time.

 

“Ben? What’s going on?”

 

“Ben stood and for the first time in years it was just them.

 

Just Leia Organa, general, princess, senator and abandoned mother.

 

And Ben Solo, formally Kylo Ren, Jedi, Knight of Ren and general disaster of a son.

 

“Where were you?” Ben said lowly.

 

“I’m sorry?” Leia looked generally confused.

 

“Where. Were. You?” Ben repeated. “You said you’d be here. You said you’d take Breha shopping.”

 

“I told you; an emergency-”

 

“Meeting came up? Embassy was needed? Reunion you just couldn’t get out of? Argument with Han Solo that he’d asked for?” Ben knew he had the potential to lose himself to anger but somehow his fury was like ice in his veins.

 

His voice was level and to the point. In that moment, he would have made an excellent diplomat.

 

“Ben, don’t be unreasonable. You know how important-”

 

“I know how important my daughter is. Quite frankly, the galaxy can wait for one day.”

 

Leia sighed. It was a tired sort of sigh. Like she found this frustrating and pointless. It made Ben feel harder and more angry.

 

“Do you know how important my role is to the stability of the galaxy? I need to clean up the mess-”

 

“-that I made? Yes, I used to think that too. That’s why I stopped making any sort of fuss. I mean, you weren’t wrong about me, were you? I was an absolute disaster. So I’ve excepted my punishment. I’ve had restraints on my liberty. I’ve been looked on with distrust. I even kept my peace with you for years. It was the least I owed you. But Breha… Breha has done nothing to you. Nothing at all.”

 

“You’re making it sound as though it was done in an attempt to spite her!” Leia was looking more defensive by the moment. Not quite the politician after all(!)

 

“Oh no. I believe it’s never intentional. But indifference doesn’t make it any better.” Ben stepped forward. “Because that’s what you do with problems isn’t it? Sweep them aside. You didn’t have the answer with me so you sent me away. You didn’t know how to tell me about Vader so you just didn’t. If something is uncomfortable, you ignore it. Is that why you only come once a month to see the only family you’ve got left?”

 

“Do you realise what I've done for you?” Leia demanded. “You could still be in a cell-”

 

“Then I should be!” Ben shot back. “If I am that much of a menace, then you should never have given me a chance. You don’t think I’ve dreamt of it every night? Of what I did? Say what you like about Han Solo – he admitted his flaws. And he tried. He actually tried.”

 

“And look what happened?” Leia bit back, tears shining in her eyes.

 

“Yes. Look what happened. I completely screwed up.” Force, it still hurt to say it. What he’d done… he could never take back. “But do you know why it hurts so much? Because he could have run. He could have got out. But he called my name. He approached me. He knew what danger I was to him… but he came. He admitted he’d failed and he tried to make it right. Have you ever admitted to making a mistake?”

 

Leia for once in her life looked lost for words.

 

Ben inhaled. “You will not promise Breha anything from now on. If you come through for her, it will be a lovely surprise. But I won’t watch my child waiting at the window for you. You can do what you want to me but you will not do it to Breha. I won’t let you.”

 

“She’s my granddaughter.”

 

“Yes she is. And that’s what you have to accept – you’re an amazing politician, a beautiful princess, a revered senator… but you were a lousy mother.”

 

Leia looked like she’d been slapped. But Ben felt no guilt. It was time for home truths.

 

“Don’t let it make you a lousy grandmother.”

 

* * *

 

 

Ben let himself into his bedroom once he knew that Leia was gone. Rey was sat on the bed.

 

Wordlessly, they got under the covers.

 

Ben slept peacefully. A wound inside him was beginning to heal and scar. It would always be there but hopefully now it would fade to nothing.

* * *

 

Leia comes back the next week where Breha is pleasantly surprised at the sight of her Nana restored to health. 

 

Leia squares her shoulders and then addresses the room:

 

"I have a few days off from the office. I thought... maybe a trip to Naboo would be nice?"

 

Ben says nothing and looks to his wife who looks pleasantly surprised while Breha seems delighted. 

 

"That would be lovely Leia." Rey finally manages. 

 

Leia looks to Ben in a way that's almost imploring. 

 

If this isn't an olive branch he doesn't know what is. 

 

"Yes... that'd be nice... Mom." 

**Author's Note:**

> This is something that I've wanted to write for a while. While I love Princess Leia as the badass she is, I feel that there are issues that she's never been confronted on. 
> 
> So this is my chance to help Ben confront a past that she would find difficult to admit she got so badly wrong.


End file.
